Day Dreams of Sarah

About The Composition

Day Dreams of Sarah was composed after hearing the news of a former friend’s sudden passing. I found myself humming this melody while thinking of her. Although this composition was inspired by an untimely passing, the tone is up beat as it focuses on the good times that I had with my friend as well as the fleeting nature of my memories of her.

I have not been good with keeping up with people I grew up with. It’s in part because I now live thousands of miles away from where I grew up, but really I have just neglected to stay connected. And I lament this. I am so out of touch that I did not find out about my friend passing until two years after it had happened. I thought she just went dark on social media like so many of my other friends. I missed the funeral, I missed supporting her family. I felt like a piece of shit for several weeks after finding out.

Her passing made me realize that I need to cherish the friendships that I have around me as well as those across the world. I only get this one life and so does everybody else. Life is so precious and the connection between lives even more precious.

Having not seen or spoken to my friend in over a decade, my memories of her have faded. I see hazy images of her smiling at me in the hall of our school, sitting by a bonfire in her backyard, cheering her on at a cross country meet, wearing a beautiful dress to a school dance. It’s been so long and my memories have decayed to a point that I do not even know where reality stops and my imagination continues. Did she really smile at me in the hall? Was her prom dress green or blue?

And yet, I can’t stop thinking about her since I found out about her passing. These hallucinations, these day dreams of Sarah are all that I have now. Having not attended any mourning rituals and being disconnected from mutual friends, I am left with a lingering sadness and am forced to mourn on my own. This composition is a form of closure for me.

I don’t know if Sarah would have liked this composition. I would have liked to show her anyway. She liked the blues, I think. Or maybe this is another fact I imagined.

To you, the person reading this text, if you are thinking of ending your life, don’t do it! Send me a message and let me help you through your hard times. Let me show you that there is still so much beauty in this world. Please, let me help you see it. Even if it’s been 15 years or we have never met, I promise you that we can find a reason to live together. Please let’s write a song together, go to an awesome concert, watch a TV series, let’s create a cult, let’s plans to overthrow the government, or let me bake you some muffins!

I am sorry Sarah, that I did not reach out since high school. I wish I could have known the woman you became. I considered you a good friend and an amazing person. I wish I could have shown you how much I care sooner.

RIP Sarah, I miss you.